I still have questions.;..

First and foremost, I had a bad dream and that's what has spurred this entry.

As much as I'd like to say I've moved on and whatnot from the troublesome things of a few months ago, fact is...I haven't. I still find myself wanting to check his emails and his phone calls, I worry when I realize that when I go home for the next forensics season he'll be here at the house by himself...with strip clubs nearby...and the internet to use as much as he wants...I'm scared it's going to happen again.

I'm scared he's going to find someone "better" and forget about me and not want anything to do with me. I shouldn't have to be afraid but the neurotic side in me is making me scared as shit to ever leave the house on my own. It's a legit fear and I hate that.

Mission: Move Home, Status: Complete

Well, I realize it's been a while since I've posted anything so here's an update. I'm sorry if it gets choppy too, there's just so much to go through and I don't want to write a dictionary like I sometimes end up doing:)

We made it down to South Carolina without any weather issues...that is until we got there. Obviously the South is not equipped to deal with weather like we have up North (NY, NY, MI, WI, etc...). Anyway, SC ended up getting a recordbreaking 4 inches or something, idk, but they literally shut down the ENTIRE town. McDonald's, Walmart, everything! We searched all over town for an hour to find a little podunk hole in the wall place that was open because we needed a bag of dog food.

When we went through the gate (finding an open gate was FUN...NOT...ALL except one was closed because of the treacherous weather lol!) we asked the guard where to find the Welcome Center. It seemed simple. Go to the third light, take a left, then an immediate right. WRONG. Somehow we missed it about twenty times and then finally found it by accident about an hour later after driving all over post.

Ugh...

Once hubby got everything situated and signed for his room, we took him to the building he'd be staying in and he took in some of his bigger stuff and packed it away in the storage locker in the room. He met his roomie who I guess is a pretty nice guy. They cycle drill sergeant classes in each week, so his roommate is actually a week ahead of him.

One more hassle down.

We then took some time to just hang out, which we haven't done in a very long time. We've had our issues but they seem to be smoothed over, atleast for now lol! We went to see Gulliver's Travels which I absolutely DO NOT RECOMMEND. It was horrible. It was almost as bad as Year One. Jack Black has really lost his credibility with those two "films". And we went to this really huge outdoor mall i guess you could call it. Almost like a strip mall that was super nice with tons of stores but go figure, half of them weren't open.

Hmm...

I had my first iHOP experience:) I ordered a chicken fajita omelette and it was AMAZING! LOVE LOVE LOVE it:) And their buttermilk pancakes are to DIE for! And if you know me well enough, you know I usually hate any and all breakfast food so that says a lot coming from me:D

Fast Forward...

Since Rich had to be up early this morning, I took him to his signed room last night and spent the night in the hotel by myself. I finally got myself to go to sleep around 11 but woke up around 4 because...

one of my dogs shat all over the cage. We forgot to bring their food with us so we had to substitute another kind and even though she went to the bathroom before bed, she still got an upset stomach from it. Thus, I woke up to the smell of poop and couldn't get back to sleep so I cleaned it up, ended up junking a blanket, and started the 15 some odd hour drive to my parents' house.

Drive was relatively uneventful except my windshield wiper fluid keeps freezing or getting clogged up or something. I had to stop and clean my windshield about 18 times because it kept getting gunked up from the muddy water off the road and all the salt buildup. Ick.

Driving through West Virginia was the absolute worst. Going through winding mountains with high speed winds, crazy drivers, and insane lack of visibility due to thick snow blowing everywhere. I white knuckled it the ENTIRE way through because I tend to panic in situations like that.

Other than those things, I'm not sure what else to go on about. It's 2343 right now and I've been up since 0400 and have been sitting for the majority of that entire time span and am about to go lay down. Mom said she bets that right once I lay my head down, I'll be out, and I don't want to put money on that because I'm guessing she's right.

Hope everyone's year has started off well!

Goodnight all

Ooh, wait, can't forget this: I walk in the door around 2200 and on the stove sits my favorite dinner: ma's homemade spaghetti!

(I deserve it for making it through the road trip alone, so...ha!)

Merry CHRISTMAS Eve

Merry Christmas Eve to everyone!

I had such a great time, regardless of short amount of time, spending a day with my sister in law and nephew, her fiancee and his adorable girls. Kind of reminded me what Christmas is supposed to be about and with the amount of seemingly terrible news I've been getting lately, I needed this bit of spiritual pick me up:)

We are now on the road again. We were able to get some rest yesterday after we got to my sister's house and slept really well. I heard little voices and footsteps so I woke up and the kiddos were all wide eyed and bushy tailed oogling their presents from Santa under the tree. I woke my husband up while crawling over him to get out of bed and he got out of bed and went out and sat on the couch and waited with me for the mayhem to commence:)

Let's just make this short and say that Christmas at my sister in law's house really reminded me of what Christmas is about. It's a time to forget anything bad and negative in the world and just reflect on what you have and WHO you have in your life.

We arrived in Michigan a little bit after 1900 and showed up at the Christmas Eve service at my dad's church. We were a little late so we tried to sneak in but he saw us come through the door and smiled and almost started crying, which of course made me tear up a little bit.

Mom was reading the scripture and there was a good 50 minutes or so left in the program. Allllll my favorite church folk were there and this amazing man Cal, invited 20 people and 18 of them came. He does such amazing community outreach and what appeals to me is his dedication to the military and our nation's veterans. He's spoken in front of congress, traveled overseas, led rallies, you name it, and this man has done it.

The church service finally ended and my mama came down off the stage and gave us hugs and then I worked my way up through the people talking to dad and gave him the biggest hug I could. It was a great feeling being able to surprise him on Christmas Eve. I'm almost on the verge of tears just replaying the moment in my head.

My favorite older brother is here also. It's amazing that in High School, we never got along and now, we take advantage of when we see each other because it's very rare that it happens. His girlfriend (hopefully sometime in the near future, fiancee) is spending Christmas with her family so we won't get to see her while we are here or their awesome american bulldog, Capone.

Hmm...well, seeing as how it's almost midnight, I should get some sleep but I'm just too excited to be home. I love the Christmas tree, the backyard, the weirdly shaped driveway, the kitchen, I just love being here. Makes you really believe that home is where the heart is.

ahhh...*dreamy sigh*

Goodnight world, and Merry Christmas Eve to ALL :)

Surprise!

So a few days ago I was complaining about not getting a christmas tree and that sort of planted the idea in my head to try and convince my husband into surprising our families with a spontaneous visit to see them over the next few days. Surprisingly it only took a few minutes of convincing and we came up with a route.

We cleaned the house, got some laundry done, packed up and left a couple days later. We left upstate NY around 1530 and drove straight through. Finally we arrived in WI on my sister in law's front porch around 0900.

We kind of planned everything with her fiancee and he had told her that she was going to have to take work off on Thursday. She asked why and alls he said was that there were two things, ones big and ones little and ones white and the others a golden brown

Sister: can I sit on it?
Fiancee: well...I guess you could...
Sister: is it something I can keep inside?
Fiancee: yeah...but I mean, you could keep it outside too. well how about this, what's the one thing you'd least expect?
Sister: my little brother and rebekah on my front porch
Fiancee: ha! I'm not that good, I can't pull that one off.
Sister: damnit, what is it?

So I txtd her fiancee around 0645 and let him know that we were about 2 hours away and I guess he told her to wake up and get dressed.

Finally we got here and my husband's sister must have been looking out the window because she came outside with tears in her eyes:)

I guess my opinion on the holidays is definitely changing.

Even though we are only here for the rest of the night and we drove 16 hours, it was well worth it. Obviously the military lifestyle doesn't allow us to travel much and we don't make it to Wisconsin even remotely close to as much as we'd like to, which makes the short day we've had TOTALLY worth it.

Got to go out for breakfast with my sister in law and nephew, relax at the house, give my sister in law her baby gifts (she's expecting a little girl in March!), go out for pizza with her and her fiancee, her son, his 3 kids. It's just been nice to be able to forget about the past few days of terrible news and stress.

Alright, well I'm writing this on my Moto Droid and my fingers are starting to hurt so I'll stop for now and update from the road tomorrow.

Goodnight and Merry CHRISTMAS

Oh and ps: anyone else amazed by the fact that Christmas is almost here and 2011 is already juuuuust around the corner? :/